Pearl 2.0 Is Currently Somewhere in the Pacific
How a year of saying “absolutely not” became a financially negotiated yes, a brand new Prius, and plans for a rainbow transformation.
Readers, Pearl 2.0 is officially happening.
I actually bought a new car.
Well, technically, that sentence requires an asterisk, several footnotes, and probably a small financial disclosure because nothing in my life can ever be that simple. But the important part is this: there is a brand new Prius currently on a ship making her way toward me, and at some point in the not-so-distant future, she will officially become Pearl 2.0.
This is a development approximately one year in the making.
You see, Craig has been trying to convince me to get a new car for about a year now. More specifically, Craig has been trying to convince me to let him buy me a new car for about a year now.
And for about a year, my answer has been absolutely not.
I did not want my boyfriend buying me a car. I don’t know why this particular thing became such a hard boundary for me, but apparently I can accept emotional support, concert tickets, hotels, random rainbow merch for my apartment, and all the other nonsense that comes with loving Craig, but an entire VEHICLE? Dear God, no. That is apparently where Sarah suddenly develops principles.
Every time the subject came up, the conversation was basically the same.
“You need a new car.”
“No.”
“You drive a ridiculous amount.”
“No.”
“Pearl is getting older.”
“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT.”
Because Pearl and I have been through some things, Readers. That car has carried me through a divorce, career changes, thousands upon thousands of miles, emotional breakdowns, questionable life choices, Starbucks drive-thrus, concerts, road trips, and a commute that would make most reasonable people simply move closer to work. Pearl has been there for entire chapters of my life.
Unfortunately, Pearl is also a 2015 Prius with what is beginning to feel like approximately one billion miles on her.
Fine. It is not actually one billion.
But when you drive from Lake Havasu to Kingman for work, the numbers start feeling emotionally offensive after a while.
So yes, intellectually, I understand that I need a newer car. Emotionally, however, I would prefer to continue operating under the belief that Pearl is immortal and will simply continue driving forever because I love her and that is apparently how automotive engineering works.
Craig, annoyingly, lives in a world where logic occasionally enters the conversation.
So we kept talking about it. And talking about it. And talking about it. Because apparently if Craig brings something up enough times, eventually I become exhausted enough to acknowledge that perhaps he has a point.
Marriage? Never happening.
A new Prius? Apparently negotiable.
The problem was still the same, though. I did not want him buying me a car. I have my own money. I have my own job. I pay my own bills. I have spent the last several years rebuilding my life into something that belongs completely to me, and there was just something about the idea of my boyfriend buying me an entire vehicle that made every independent bone in my body stand up and start protesting.
So we found a compromise.
I will trade in the two cars I currently have, Pearl and the RAV4 I inherited after Cory passed, and then put some additional money down I have saved up. Altogether, that should cover roughly half the cost of Pearl 2.0. Craig will pay the remaining half. So technically, he is not buying me a car. We are splitting it. This is the compromise my fiercely independent soul has begrudgingly agreed to.
Do I completely love this arrangement? No. Am I still slightly uncomfortable with it? Yes. Did I eventually have to accept the fact that I actually do need a new car and that allowing someone who loves me to help does not mean I have suddenly surrendered my independence and become financially incapable of functioning without a man?
Apparently.
Whatever.
Personal growth is exhausting.
So, Readers, after a year of saying no, I finally said yes. Sort of. Half yes. A financially negotiated yes. A fiercely independent, mildly irritated, “Fine, but I am not letting you pay for the whole thing” yes.
Which is honestly the most Sarah way imaginable to accept a car.
And now Pearl 2.0 is officially coming.
Literally.
She is currently on a ship making her way toward me, because naturally even the arrival of my new vehicle requires an international maritime subplot. Nothing in my life can simply appear at a dealership and quietly wait for pickup. No. My car has to go on a voyage first. She already has a backstory and I have not even driven her yet.
Eventually, once she finally makes landfall and becomes officially mine, Pearl 2.0 will begin her transformation.
Because yes, Readers.
There will be a rainbow.
A subtle rainbow? Maybe.
A slightly less subtle rainbow after I stare at it for three days and decide it needs more rainbow? Also entirely possible.
Yes, I am going to get her wrapped with a rainbow. Look if I am going to spend an unreasonable portion of my life driving across Arizona, I might as well do it in something that feels completely like me. Bright, colorful, a little ridiculous, impossible to ignore, and almost certainly causing at least one stranger in a parking lot to stop and wonder what exactly is happening.
So here we are.
Pearl 2.0 is incoming.
She is literally on a ship.
And somewhere between now and Christmas, the Rainbow Mobile may officially be born.
God help us all. 🌈🚗
P.S. Here is an AI-generated version of what Pearl 2.0 may eventually look like.
