Two Years Later, Readers

I had no plan, no direction and absolutely no idea that this beautiful, chaotic life was waiting for me.

Two years ago, Readers, I had absolutely NO clue what my life was going to look like. The job I had basically grown up in and had since nearly high school was ending. I was barely a year out from leaving a 13 year marriage, and I had no grand plan. No five year vision board. No inspirational quote taped to my bathroom mirror. I was pretty much surviving one day at a time and hoping the universe eventually sent me some kind of instruction manual.

It did not.

But somehow, two years later, my life looks completely different.

I ended up landing what is genuinely my dream job. I get paid to write, create, do social media and tell stories for a living. Basically all the things I have always loved doing somehow became my actual career, and there are still days I sit at my desk and think: “wait they are PAYING me to do this? And they give me health insurance?” Readers, I somehow beat the system.

Then I said yes to something that, at the time, sounded absolutely insane. Honestly there was no logical reason for me to believe it was going to work. I didn’t think it would work. I believe I gave us three months at one point.

And yet somehow that yes led me to the man I am madly in love with now. A person I never expected to become such a huge part of my life. He is someone who somehow showed up in the middle of all that uncertainty and became one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Then there is Pearl 2.0. In less than 30 days, I am going to have a BRAND NEW car straight off the assembly line. Nobody else has ever owned her or even driven her. She is going to be mine from the very beginning! And yes maybe that sounds like just a car to some people, but to me it feels like one of those little markers in life where you stop and realize just how far you have come.

And apparently we are doing emotional confessions tonight, so there is one more thing: I am about to sign the papers on my dream rental.

And Readers: IT IS BRAND NEW!! Nobody has ever lived there. I am literally going to be the first person to ever sleep there.

Okay, I was NOT supposed to tell you that yet. So we are all going to pretend I did not just type that. I am slightly BuzzBall-buzzed, emotional and apparently incapable of keeping my own announcements secret. When I officially tell you later, I expect everyone to act shocked. Thank you for your cooperation.

But sitting here tonight thinking about all of this, I keep coming back to the person I was two years ago. She had absolutely no idea any of this was coming.

She didn’t know where she was going to work. She didn’t know what her life was supposed to look like after a marriage that had taken up almost her entire adult life. She didn’t know she would fall completely in love again. She didn’t know there was a Pearl 2.0 coming, or a new home, or this whole completely different life waiting for her.

She just knew she had to keep going.

And I think that’s the part I want you to remember, Readers.

You really have no idea what your life might look like two years from now. Hell, sometimes you don’t know what it’s going to look like two months from now. Life is unpredictable and scary and occasionally so completely unhinged that you have to wonder who exactly is in charge of writing this storyline and whether they have considered therapy.

But it can also be really, really beautiful.

So take the risk. Fall in love. Say yes to the thing that scares you a little. Start over when you need to. Change your mind. Do the things that make you happy. Build a life that feels like yours, even if it looks nothing like the one you once thought you were supposed to have.

And if you’re in one of those dark places right now where you cannot see what comes next, just keep going. You don’t have to have the whole thing figured out. Two years ago, I certainly didn’t.

And thank God I didn’t know what was coming, because I probably wouldn’t have believed it anyway.

It gets better, Readers. It’s not always going to be perfect or easy but it will get better!

So much better. ❤️